Paso Robles

He knew he should have said good bye, but looking in her eyes would have been too painful for both of them. He was just a fool to believe that he could change. Leaving her years ago was his biggest regret, until tonight. Leaving her a second time was certainly going to hurt worse.

As he passed through San Louis Obispo, his thoughts of her were quickly shaken as he looked down at the speedometer. He was nearing 98 miles per hour and realized, if he didn’t slow down, he too was going to have his life taken too early like that of James Dean. These highway roads off of Interstate 46 were fast and the hair pin turns were shockingly tight.

He knew if he just continued to drive over these winding roads he would find a place to settle in, and that would have to be sooner than later. The sun was going to set over the bay and these roads were not going to be very forgiving.

Entering the town of Paso Robles, he saw a sign for a vacancy on a bed and breakfast. Only a few cars were outside of it and unsure if he needed a reservation, he pulled off the highway. Before walking in, he leaned up against the back of silver rag top and watched the sun set over all the old vines. He thought to himself, "I wonder how much pain, how much loss, how much joy, love and life has been shared among this land." Her face came to him and shook him back to reality.

“Excuse me, sir, can I help you?” A young boy stepped out on the front deck at this point questioning his late arrival.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s a bit late and I don’t have any reservations. It’s just me here and I was wondering if you had a bed for one?” His voice cracked a bit, not realizing he must have been choking up with the thought of her.

“Actually, we had a couple that had an emergency back in Nebraska and had to leave this morning. They booked cottage number 3 for two weeks. It’s so late in the season, I have no idea how I am going to rent it out at this point. It’s yours for the night if you want it.” The kid looked like his dog had just run away from him.

“Tell ya', what, I’ll take those two weeks; and if I decide to leave early, I will still pay in full, and if I need to stay longer, keep my tab open. How does that sound kid?” His voice was clear this time.

“Sir, I think you just saved me from my dad having to shut the place down after harvest.” The kid couldn’t be more than 17 years old. By the looks of the place they depended on harvest season and tourists to keep this place running.

There were only 4 cabins at this bed and breakfast, but it appeared that it was a family run establishment. And like most businesses these days, the economy was taking its toll on them.

“Tell me, kid, where I can get a good meal at this hour?” He hadn’t eaten since last night.

********

They had an amazing dinner, and sat outside under the fall night sky. As he walked her through the park and kissed her under the gas lamps he didn’t know he was going to fly to the other side of the country the very next morning. He certainly didn’t think he would be driving through wine country with out her, with out saying good bye.

********

“I was just cleaning up from dinner. There is still some left overs and plenty of wine. Please, come in. I will pour you a glass while you unpack and get settled in.” The boy went back into the kitchen, quickly appeared with a bottle of 2007 Rosenblum Red Zinfandel.

The dark rich color caught his eye. It was a beautiful purple, and sitting alone in the small dining room the fragrance was bold. With his first pass he was able to pull the lush black cherry, rich black berry and deep plum. Arching his back and sinking deep in the leather chair, he took his first sip and inhaled. Pepper and jam. There was a battle going on in his mouth.

He could not decide what exactly it was that he was trying to taste. He knew for sure there was pepper, but there was a rich jam characteristic to this wine. He did not want to allow his personal emotions take over the experience of the wine, but at a time like this it was inevitable.

Her words haunted him, "Wine is relative, and it’s situational." He laughed to himself and, knowing she was right, he also realized he was in a complicated situation right now. This wine was complicated too. If she were here, enjoying this wine with him, the jam would be sweet on his tongue and the spice would be a welcoming surprise. But tonight, it’s complicated.

He took another sip this time, letting it sit in his mouth a little longer. He let the flavors marinate, dance and explore his tongue. Closing his eyes as he swallowed it down, it was smooth on the finish, but left a spice on the tip of his tongue almost numbing.

The kid had brought him out his dinner at this point. A plate of turkey breast, a baked potato and some steamed spinach. Perfect, he thought to himself, nothing heavy. This wine would not hold up to a heavy meal. He was easily satisfied.

Looking down at his phone, all he saw was an empty screen. She still hadn’t called, and he was not man enough to call her. He had run from her before, and she just wouldn’t understand his escape this time.

Looking down at his empty glass, he knew he would be finishing this bottle before the night was over. Just as he was reaching out to grab the bottle the kid came back in to check on things.

“Sir, I just wanted to let you know, your room is ready. When you are done here feel free to leave your plate. Here is your key. Breakfast is served from 6am – 10am. Maps and directions to the wineries are on your nightstand. If you need anything else, mine and my dad’s numbers are on the fridge in your room.” He just stood there waiting for an answer.

“Oh, yeah, okay, thanks, kid. I really appreciate all of this. I’ll be here a little longer if that’s okay. See in you the morning.” He was already stumbling over his words.

Needing some fresh air, he grabbed the bottle and his glass and went out to the front porch. Sitting outside he poured another glass. Looking out at the old vines, he thought years have come and years have gone, harvest after harvest. The ground has shook, flooded, burnt and still today, he sat here and allowed what the earth has provided to envelop him and rattle his cage.

Stepping down from the porch he walked out into the vines. His glass still in hand, he had a really good red wine buzz going. It was late. All the lights in the cottages were off and all he could see were the stars in the sky and the mist from the distant bay. The dead branches crunched under his boots as he continued to walk.

Taking another swallow, he breathed in the fresh air. “What am I doing here? Why did I leave," pausing, "I didn’t even say goodbye!” Was he going mad, he thought to himself as he realized he was talking out loud to the vines and the earth that surrounded him.

He found himself falling to the ground. The soil was perfectly dry and cool, and as his hand reached out in front of him to break the fall, the wine returned from his glass to the ground from which it once grew. He let out a shrieking yell, from the deep, dark depth of his soul. And taking a deep breath he screamed one more time. This time with more rage, more anger, more sadness and loss. Finally, he sunk to the ground. He was deflated and empty. He simply laid there on the ground and looked up at the sky through the intertwining vines.

The drops of morning dew fell off the branches and woke him as the sun was coming up over the hills. He must have fallen asleep. Checking his pockets, his phone was left behind and his head was pounding as if a small child was trying to beat its way out!

On his way back to his cottage, he saw couples walking to the main lodge for breakfast. Looking down at his clothes, it dawned on him that he was a mess. He quickly went to his room. Next to his bed was his wallet, his phone and a note which read, "Sir, there is bottled water in the fridge along with some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. I found your phone in the main cabin. Please call if you need something to eat."

When he went to the call log on his phone it read, "In box empty." He kicked his shoes off and laid down feeling conflicted.

Cheers!
<3 to MP