This is Where I Find My Happy

Happiness can come at the most unpredictable and unsusceptible moments. You may find joy and happiness in the face of your child or the way your spouse or partner looks at you with love or admiration. The way a pet jumps toward you as you open the door. Happiness can be defined in so many ways, too many for this simple glass tilter to count. But hen you find something that makes me happy, I like to share it. Now, let me start by saying, I can’t take credit for this one.
Although, I have been walking through life for the past month for what appears to be a smile that you can’t peal off my face, I refuse, to take the full credit for this night of pure happiness.
Last week a kind man on an extremely long lay over was discussing the different places we have traveled and he asked me, “what is your favorite wine?” My reply to him was simple, “its all relative.” He was actually a little surprised I think by my answer. “Here let me explain, you can be in the best of moods enjoying the best of wines and it will taste amazing. Or you can be drinking the same wine and just found out that your house was foreclosed on. The wine, its going to take on a different flavor. “
I went on explaining how I didn’t really care for white wines but how on a spring afternoon, I found great pleasure in them. Or when I am sitting on the deck with one of my best friends and her daughter, they are refreshing, it’s all relative.
He sat there with a look on his face of confusion yet clarity. He got it, he knew what I was talking about but something kept him from actually saying it aloud, and that, that was okay, because this man at this moment, he was happy. Despite the fact that he would be getting home later than he had anticipated, he had found a place that was quiet, he had found good conversation and he had found a good glass of wine.

Out of his wallet he pulled a small clipping from Wine Spectator, “This is one of my favorite wines.” He proclaimed and handed the tattered paper to me. Cantina Zaccagina Montepulciano. The picture was what caught my eye. The bottle was beautiful, a hand written label with straw wrapping and a small bit of stick deco. I knew for a fact that I would forget the name, but not the bottle. Nor the way the man had such admiration for this wine, happiness, for this wine.

That night we discussed my travels, my journey through wine, his family, the fact that he lived in North Carolina and how I want to die there (The Outer Banks that is). Thinking of him now, I have a smile on my face. Meeting that man, made me, well, happy and happy to know that he introduced me to the happy night I have set up for myself tonight.

Two hours in the gym and off the find a good bottle of wine, I knew I was in the mood for something spicy and Italian for dinner, and for some reason Montepulciano was on my brain for wine. I knew I had ground turkey defrosting, but I had no idea I was going to end up at the worst wine store in Philadelphia. When I say the worst, I mean, about three foreign wines, ten domestic, twenty jug wines and as I was trying to figure out what I was going to get I overheard the conversation of the security guard and the cashier discussing who had been in jail longer. Lord, give me the strength to find something, not get raped, shot or beat down in this store! Just as I was about to give up and walk out, out of the corner of my eye I saw it, this gem, this gift, this bottle of happiness! Cantina Zaccgnini and off to the register I went, ON SALE! OH THANK YOU LORD…you are good today! In Philly you can find it on sale for $12!

Do you all remember my blog about the first kiss? About how you never know if its going to be good or not? Well, let see how I can compare this, see, this is almost like being set up on a date. So, this man, had a friend (the wine) and he wanted to set us up on a date, but was not sure if we were going to hit it off or not. You see, he really likes his friend, reliable, dependable, stand-up all the way around good friend. Again, don’t forget we are talking about the wine.

And then there is me, I don’t know, I have no idea if I am going to like it, I am just going by what this man has to say, I am going by the label, because if you all don’t know by know, I do not, DO NOT read reviews on the wine before I drink it. And here I sit, making the most amazing spicy ground turkey meat sauce and spaghetti dinner, with nothing but happiness in my heart and happiness in my life right now, and I am about to go into the lions den, so…everyone wants to know….right? You all can’t wait!

Ahhhhhhh AMAZING! Its like the most amazing first kiss, you know the one ladies, where you lift your foot, and he pulls you in. The wine, at first sip, it filled my mouth, and it was dry, but not too dry, it took all of the other flavors out of my mouth and left me with nothing but the silk of its own juice. There was nothing felt on the flesh of my tongue but right at the tip, a slight prick and again at the back of my throat, just to let me know that it was there.

I honestly don’t know if I have tasted something as smooth and fruit forward yet provocative at the same time. Sometimes there are wines that will linger in your mouth long after you taste them, this one, only lingers with a smile and an urge for more.

So, for tonight, I am going to leave you with this, the same words, that man left me with that night, “you may never have a favorite wine, but you may find a favorite moment in there somewhere.”

Cheers!
<3 to MP

Seeing Red

There is a calmness that comes right before and right after a storm. Some sort of silence, an unspoken sense of awareness that it is either coming or that it has passed. You can slice the peace from it and hold it in the palm of your hand, lift it to your mouth, suck it in, hold it in your lungs, allow it to rattle around and breath it out, and there it is, the peace, the quiet, the clam.

Have you ever looked at a child about to throw a temper tantrum? Their face turns red, their eyes grow dark, their body becomes stiff and then hell hath no fury on them. Look out world! This child is screaming, yelling, throwing shit, flailing its body in all different directions, going into convulsions, snot is coming out of its nose, there is sound, no words, just sound and all you can do is sit back and watch. Watch and wait while this tantrum unravels and hope none of the shit ends up on you.

Then out of nowhere its over, the child is done, like it never happened, they sit down, calm quiet, almost as if none of this had taken place, there may be a few hiccups here or there, some residual from the storm if you may, but its over.

The day was long, it was so very long and there was not enough coffee to get me through. I could not get a 20% tip out people if I got down on my knees and begged them for it. What is going on with the way people tip these days? I have not been sleeping, I am working a lot and I am just tired. I am tired of trying, trying to try.

So, this afternoon, when I went into the office and looked at my manager with the only bit of energy I had left for I was at the tip of a tantrum and this is when it poured out, “I have to go to the gym tonight, but I don’t want to go to the gym tonight, but I can’t go tomorrow, so I have to go tonight, but I am so tired, I want to cry. I really want to cry. I have to go to Target, but I don’t want to go to Target. I just want to cry.” She looked at me and as calmly as anyone spoke to me, she said, “Amanda, don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.” Here I was at 32 years of age, ready to have a full on temper tantrum. Yes, I was ready to throw shit, I was ready to convulse my body and have snot rush out of my face.

It was then, I gathered my things and hung my head and knew it was not worth crying over. It was not worth my tears. I walked out of the building; I got into my car, and took my shoes off. There is something to be said for flip flops on a hot spring day. Not only was it hot today, but it was thick… like Mother Nature was ready to throw her own little fit. It was on my way to Target that I talked myself out of going to the gym. ‘Well, if I have all of my food in the car, I simply can’t go to the gym, it will get too hot, so I have to just go home. Not to mention, I am going to the wine store, and I don’t want that to sit in the car while I am in there, so there, its settled, I am not going to night.’ WHIMP!

Behind me I could see the clouds go from a simple shade of white to a faint shade of grey, to a harsh bitter black. This storm was going to be quick, fierce and it was going to be amazing. It took me an hour and ten minutes of traffic to get home, but armed with everything I needed I was ready for tonight.

So, my readers, friend’s family and anyone who is willing to give me a moment of their time, I sit here, half in the bag, writing to you after the storm. It was beautiful, the lightning lit up the sky of Philadelphia, the thunder shook our very foundation and the rain washed away all of our heat! This storm cleansed us. There was a pressure that was building up all week, the hot, the cold the wind, and now tonight, the tantrum set forth and brought upon us a beautiful night.

My candles are lit on the staircase, dinner cooking on the stove, windows open and I poured a glass of Tempra Tantrum. I KNOW RIGHT?! How freaking fitting! Now be careful, I was sitting on the floor of the wine store looking three different verities of this wine. This is the 2006 Tempranillo/SHIRAZ. There was a Tempranillo/Merlot and a Tempranillo/Cabernet, and it was the Shiraz blend that I settled on.

This Spanish red at first sip is gigantic and fierce. It will bite you in the ass, and unleash its full body on your mouth with the first sip. It is not messing around. You have to let this wine sit, you have to let it have its “tantrum” and then enjoy it. As you may have learned this about me by now, I just dive right in, and drink, that first sip kicked the shit right out of me, it was like the wine said, “you want to cry, go ahead, I will give you something to cry about.” Whoa! After the first sip, and again the second, I had to exhale almost as though I were letting smoke out of my lungs.

This wine, reached me deep, deeper than the back of my mouth and my throat, but right to the depths of my chest. It puffed me up and consumed me. Nothing and I mean nothing existed at this very moment but me and these first two sips, and that was pretty freaking awesome. Picture for a moment, me standing in the kitchen, while the sky is reeking havoc on the city, the wind is blowing, lightening is blazing up the sky thunder is crashing against the walls, and these first two sips rocked my inner being. Now that is one hell of a temper tantrum!

Sitting here now, listening as the sky grumbles in the distance, and my day seems to fall to the past tense, I take another sip of this red bull if you may, and I taste the beauty of the juice, the spice on the front and the caramel on the back, my tongue is pricked with the bite of the plum and blackberries and I feel a sense of calm. I take a deep breath in, lets it back out, close my eyes and my shoulders fall, it is quiet, and the storm has passed. The tantrum has passed, and I am now left with peace.

Cheers!

And it was Goode!

I broke my first cork! Tonight I broke my first cork! I am now on my 37th bottle of wine, and tonight, well, I cracked the cork!

The weather has been, yet again, temperamental here in Philadelphia. Today we were pushing 90 degrees, and what better than an ice cold glass of wine to end a 2 hour long commute home? This 2008 Sauvignon Blanc is good. I mean really GOODE! Yes, it’s Murphy Goode Sauvignon Blanc Fume, and it’s light and fun, and refreshing. I think we all could use something like this from time to time.

When my friends found out I was drinking a white wine tonight, they were in shock, knowing how I love red wine, but dare I say there is something feminine and flirty about a glass of white wine in the evening? The citrus flavors of this wine are not overpowering, they are not acidic, they sit perfectly on the tip of my tongue and then wash away freely.

I feel that a good glass of wine should release you from the stresses and worries of your day, of your life and allow you to feel something unique. This Sauvignon Blanc out of Sonoma County allows me to reflect on the harshness of the day: the people, the work, the traffic, the noise, and… the broken cork. But, once I allow my shoulders to fall, my lips to relax and my breaths to steady, I realize life is Goode. It’s simple, it’s crisp and refreshing every single day.

Have you ever wanted to say “Who cares?” And really mean it? Honestly, really mean it? It’s fun, it’s freeing, it’s refreshing. And even if it was me talking to the bottle tonight as the cork sat sitting half in the bottle and half on the wine key, I thought, “who cares?” I knew I was going to get the cork out, and I knew I would enjoy the wine one way or another, and I am. Oh good lord, I am!

Ladies, think of that pretty dress you have been waiting all winter long to put on and wear with your favorite open toe shoes, as your fresh pedicure sparkles and your smooth skin welcomes the touch from another. The sun kisses your face and you glow with a sense of beauty. Yup, this is the wine.

Guys…uurgh, whoa, I got nothing for ya’ on this one, but think of how much fun that lady is going to be once you get her in your arms. The softness of her hands on your face, the way her hair feels as she brushes up against you, the sweet smell of her neck. When you kiss her, you taste the sweet fresh fruit on her lips.

Life gets crazy, it tries to break us, but take a moment and just be still, take a sip, take two, don’t worry about that cork that has broken because it’s what inside that really matters.

Cheers!
<3 to MP

Looking for Suggestions

Tonight I am drinking a 2008 Pinot Noir from the Private Selection of Robert Mondavi, and I so badly wanted to be in love with this wine. I so badly wanted to have a romantic interlude with this bottle, but instead I am simply satisfied. It's not a horrible experience that I am having, I am just not inspired.

At first sip, I could tell instantly that this was an American wine, grown in the hills of Central California. It is easy to taste the soil and the minerals that the earth brings to the grapes, that the land in which these grapes live still hold on to. The rugged country of Monterey is about 75 miles long and the climate provides an unusually long growing season.

Now, with the first sip, I thought to myself, "Come on, what are you tasting?" Coffee was the first thing that came to mind. I couldn’t understand why. Maybe it was because of the deep dark lush color of the wine, or the strong after-bite that I got at the end of the sip, but coffee lingered. I ended up going to http://www.robertmondavi.com/files/FlexibleFile/68/RMPS_TN_PN_2008.pdf , and it was here that I discovered WHY I tasted coffee - because there are scents of roasted nuts and toasty oak. Exactly, that was the coffee flavor I had originally tasted. However, I decided to let the wine open up a little longer. I have not eaten red meat in over a year and the only thing that I could think that would even be remotely delicious with this wine would be a medium rare filet or a pan seared lam chop. Hell, I don’t even remember what they taste like; but I promise you my friends, if that’s what you like, pour yourself a glass, fire up the grill, and I assure you, you will have yourself a great meal.

I, on the other hand, well, I am going in for more wine to see what I can pick up. I have made some egg noodles with a light marinara sauce and now the wine has taken on more of a cherry, mixed fruit flavor.

I don’t know why, I don’t understand it, I want to be enjoying this wine tonight, but I’m not. I don’t know if it’s the wine that I am not enjoying or if it's just the mood that I am in. I know that all can play a factor when drinking wine, so please keep that in mind. I know I am trying to.

I’m asking all of you out there. Help me, give me a wine that is going to relax me, something that is going to inspire me, something that is going to set me over my edge and bring me to a place of creative inspiration. Let's get interactive here. Am I hitting my wine wall tonight?

Cheers!
<3 to MP

Its Been Three Months

As soon as he struck the match the sulfur filled his lungs. The flame was low and he brought it close to the pile of brush he had gathered to make his fire. On nights like tonight he would usually drink whiskey but she had given him a bottle of wine for all of his hard work. With the slight chill in the air, this could possibly be a perfect night for a red wine buzz.

He had only been in Spain for two days when he had first seen her sitting by the fountain in the center of town. She looked friendly, sweet and for some reason, she looked alone. Alone in a way that she had come to Spain to escape something, something or someone, possibly both. She was sitting next to the fountain writing in a small notebook, he couldn’t help but notice she had a basket next to her feet, in it were multiple packages wrapped in newspaper, a few jars of jam, some fresh berries and sticking out from the top, a bouquet of beautiful flowers.

He could tell that she had long hair, but that first day she had it pulled up in a loose bun at the nape of her neck and she had a small white flower behind her right ear. She glanced up at him and it was then he got to see how her green eyes matched her dress. Bright and full of life, she was beautiful.

He poured his glass of wine as the fire warmed the room, pulling his mind back to the present time. His back against the wall, he took in a deep breath, closed his eyes and took his first sip. His first thought was spice. Over the past three months he has come to appreciate how the Spanish use spice in all that they do and now in the wine he is has taken into his body, he tasted it on the roof of mouth with a sweetness that rolled over the front of his tongue.

He continued to watch the flames rise as he drank this gift she had given him. The smoky blackberries, the blueberries, with every sip, he could smell cherry and it smelled sweet like her hair. He poured another glass and continued to replay like a projector in his mind that first day with crisp detail.

“You’re new here in Calatayud, aren’t you?” She was looking right through him, but better yet, she was American.

“Yes, I’m originally from Boston, but I have been traveling for about a year now. And you?” He was shaking, not only at the fact that he was talking to such a beautiful woman, but at the fact that he had not spoken a full English conversation in almost a week.

“I grew up in Cleveland, traveled through most of college and about a year ago moved here. Life is simple here, beautiful. Wait till you try the wine.”

Three months he continued to tell himself, three months. He knew he was falling in love with her. But what was it that she was hiding? And at what point was he going to ask or would he just pack his canvass bag and a move on again. These old hills are perfect for the grapes, they are perfect for lovers, but he doesn’t hardly know her, but he wants so badly to touch and make her smile.

“If you’re looking for work, the Bodega Ateca Winery is always looking for help and they make one hell of a Grancha de Fuego.” Her smile was intoxicating.

For three months now he has been working at the winery and eating dinner with her. Occasionally they would go for hikes in the hills or lunches by the fountain and today he helped her clean out her shed. They laughed the whole day, sharing stories of their childhood and where they see their futures going. When everything was finished, she gave him a bottle of 2008 Grancha. “I know its not much, but you’re always drinking whiskey. Tonight you should be drinking red wine.” She placed one hand to his face as she handed him the bottle.

She wrapped a sweater around her shoulders as it was growing a little cool. She looked into his grey eyes and held his stare, and before he could say thank you, she turned and went into the house.

As he took the last sip of wine and the fire burnt low, he knew he was going to have to make a decision, he was going to have to pack his canvas sack and move on to the next region or he was going to have to let her know of his love for her. Tonight however, he was going to enjoy his red wine buzz.

Setting Some Roots

The wind was blowing so violently that the candles were dancing along to the sound of the rain beating upon my window panes. As I looked outside trying to find the moon all I could see was the distant glow from the lamp in the barn.

Evening storms were a novelty here in the coastal mountains. We never saw rain, day in and day out, dry sand and trees were an abundance, so tonight’s storm was a beautiful surprise. Cool and refreshing, romantic and exotic. Safely tucked away in the side of the hills I spent my days tending to the horses and the fields. Life here is a routine, but tonight, tonight feels a little different.

I watched as the rain slid down the glass of the window, the wood cracked in the fire and I stood and stared out the window, all I could see was purple and red glowing from that barn window. I wrapped myself in an old blanket and hugged my knees to my chest, the chill from storm and the warmth from the fire – confliction.

What is interesting about this part of Chile is that the hills are steep and rocky enough that the soil maintains the moisture for the vines to last the intense summers. That is what I love about living here. When we get storms like this, the land just knows, it knows that it is a special gift to hold on, that it needs to last long enough to last forever! An amazing bottle of wine can last forever. A night like tonight, can last forever.

With a red wine buzz, I felt the blanket fall below my arms and land at my feet. It was rare that I felt the rain on my face, I found myself moving toward the door, stepping outside I closed my eyes, the wind stood still and all I could feel was water as it fell against my face. My eyelids, cheeks, lips, I felt it run down my neck to my chest, my arms were beginning to soak it in. As my hair curled up I found myself swaying to the song in my head, ‘Where do you go when you’re lonely? Where do you go when you’re blue? Where do you go when you’re lonely, I’ll follow you? When the stars go blue.’

As my solid dance floor became a muddy mess, I looked down at my hands, they had puckered up from the moister. My clothes were soaked through and my hair was drenched. I tilted my head back one last time and allowed the sky to baptize me one last time. It almost felt as though it was happening in slow motion, plop, plop, plop, I heard every rain drop, they were beautiful. And then, then I caught a chill. Almost a bit of spice.

I caulked my head one last time to look to be sure the light in the barn was still lit, it was, so I quickly ran back into the house. I pulled the blanket up off the floor and wrapped it around my drenched body. I looked over at the fire I had made before my brief exit. It had reached its peak and sitting beautifully in its glow, rooted comfortably, my glass of 2008 Carmenere.

Root: 1 is a “lost grape of Bordeaux” from The Colchagua Valley, Chile. Carmenere is a deep red color with gentle tannins and rich flavors of plum, blackberry and spice.

I pulled off my wet tank top and jeans. I pulled on his old grey sweater and pants, pulled another blanket up close, Pressed myself back up against the wall, looking back over the hills of Chile’ I poured another glass of wine. I watched the purple and red glow from the barn and listened to the crackle from the fire and drank.


Cheers!

<3 to MP

And Then Spring Kissed Me!

"I want a glass of Sauvignon Blanc today, I want one so bad," I found myself professing at the top of my lungs around noon today at work.

Alyssa looked over at me with laughter in her eyes. "Let’s go sit on Red Stones Patio and drink a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and celebrate. I'm so far in the weeds right now I don't even know where to start. Did I just say that? Who just said that? I don't know who just said that?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed uncontrollably. Yes, I lost it laughing at my friend, but it was short lived. I walked back out into the dining room and shortly found myself among those getting their asses handed to them. Running back and forth all day, the cast of characters were very different today. I have to believe that it's because it was a holiday and most people were out of work and most schools are out for spring break, but I also believe there was something special in the air.

Mother Nature put something out there for all of us to breath into our lungs and hold onto. Suck in deep to our lungs and hold on. It made us all feel a little more... a little feistier. My one very special, very wonderful table (and I do hope you, special table, have now become a fan of this blog, and, forgive me, because I've forgotten your name, but I know your son's name is Sam) ordered up a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. As I walked up to the bar and placed it on my tray, I looked at the glass and said, "I will be enjoying you later!" Matt, my bartender laughed and said, "I will be enjoying my beer!"

The day pressed on, and table after table, drink after drink, I had my eye on the prize - that cold glass of white wine was, on this first sun-kissed day, going to be mine.

I was yet to break the seal on the building. It was 5pm and my last table was eating dessert. I had to let Alyssa know that I was almost done with work so I stepped out back.

"OH MY GOD," I shouted as though there were no one around! But... there was! Two of my chefs were standing out back. "It feels like, well, it feels like sex out here. From what I remember of course." We all laughed. "Honestly, it feels as good as sex used to feel from what I remember of it!"

It was like rolling around in warm sheets, feeling pillows pushed up against you on all sides of your body, having your neck touched in just the right places, your toes tickled. Everything just felt perfect outside at that right moment. It was amazing. I could feel it on my face, in my hair. The breath of the wind touching my eyelids as I closed them, the heat on my arms. Even my fingertips warmed as my fingers hit the keypad on my phone. Sadly, it had to end and I had to go back inside.

Okay... so, I rush back inside. Much to my surprise everyone is finished, ready to go. Everything is good, check out, grab my bag and I am off!

ALYSSA!!!! She is sitting waiting! Like it is a brand new day, she is sitting there with a beautiful big glass of Sauvignon Blanc! As you all know, I am not a white wine drinker, but the first sip of this wine sent my body to that place that bodies like to go! It relaxed, it sunk, it fell, it eased, it was at peace. It was not just the wine that helped me get there. It was the company. There is something about this friend of mine that sends me to a peaceful place, she is very calm, natural and jovial.

As the patio filled up, our friend Jamie joined us for a drink. Jamie brought laughter and memories. It is always great to see an old friend and reflect. Now at this point I am sure all of you are wondering what wine is Amanda drinking? I have to be honest... we don't know! We ordered Nobel Sauvignon Blanc, but that is not what they charged us for. So... we are not exactly sure what we got!

I will say this, it was crisp like a prefect white sheet that has been hanging on the line all day surrounded by lemon and grapefruit trees. It has picked up small hints of citrus, but it's not overpowering. It still has a sweetness about it. There is a small bit of honeysuckle that you can get at the back, allowing you to feel the beginning of spring, the promise of something amazing. It makes you long for something more.

Okay, so it looks like I am going to have to return to Red Stones Patio and order a glass of Nobel and see if it tastes the same as it did today. See if it was the the stress of the day, the company I kept or sex the sun that provided the delight in the glass. Its amazing how spring has a way of making things taste so differnt.


You know, today was not an easy day, but it was one of those days that you walk outside and you feel something, you feel it on your body, organic and raw. You feel it in the people you surround yourself with. You feel it in what you put into your body. And at the end of the day, if you can know that you did everything you could do to fulfill yourself and those around you, isn't that enough?

Cheers!
<3 to MP